Mee-Jin Kim
Mother of two Mee-Jin Kim exchanged five years of frequent travel and full time employment in the automotive industry for a career as a self-employed trainer when she became a mother five years ago. At the time, the proximity of her parents, and a sister who herself has a small child, relieved her of many childcare worries, and she could accept training assignments involving prolonged absences readily and regularly. Her children, now aged 5 and 3, are well catered for in an English-German Montessori program.
Stassie Zaprianova
Stassie Zaprianova, mother of two, now based in Antwerp but until recently a resident of Sofia, was also lucky to have family close by. With a well-established state support system and a doting grandmother in the immediate vicinity, she resumed training activity 5 months after her first daughter, Yanna, was born 6 years ago. Family-friendly legislation that came into effect on January 1, 2007 means that Stassie and new family member Teah, born in August 2006, will enjoy even better support, a fact that makes combining motherhood and a career even more practicable and attractive.
Molly Ng
Despite moving house within days of her son’s birth and the lack of a local family support system, Molly Ng was back on the training circuit a month after Julian was born in January 2006. Long maternity leave was never an option; neither is being an absentee mom. A supportive husband, and the presence of Molly’s older sister during Julian’s first 5 months made her choice to return to work immediately all the easier, and son and sister were regular fixtures in the background of Molly’s training sessions during that time. Julian still accompanies his mom when she trains; he is cared for by a familiar nanny from home, or one recruited at the training location. In the early months, her greatest challenge was sleep deprivation; later, it became finding a nanny at training locations. „I need to give a nanny up to 4 weeks‘ advance notice, because training typically runs up to 12 hours“, Molly says.
Galina Koptelzewa
Russia trainer Galina Koptelzewa, separated from her Russian and Romanian family members by several international borders, entrusts son Alexander’s care to a local nursery and a part-time nanny. She returned to work in early 2006, immediately after the 4-month maternity leave stipulated by German law. Primarily an academician, Galina devotes comparatively little of her monthly schedule to training, but is often tested when it comes to time management. „Even before Alexander’s birth, it was never possible to completely separate work and leisure. Now, when he is asleep, I finish tasks, working monochronically. I am definitely not the cooking, singing, reading, nursing kind of mom!“, she confesses. Though their training loads and the children’s ages vary from a few months to almost school age, they all agree that a career as an independent trainer allows them freedoms that salaried employment would preclude, most notably, the autonomy to decide if and when to conduct training. „On average, I run 3 or 4 training sessions a month and I can set training dates that suit me best“, says Molly Ng.
Combining Training and Family
Efforts to combine training and family life sometimes have unexpectedly positive effects, though these attempts are not always successful. Relating the benefits of taking her daughter with her on training, Stassie Zaprianova says: „The trainees saw my daughter, and then somehow saw me in another role. They were friendly from the beginning and this helped for quick trust building“. But it can also go the other way. „I took my husband and children along when I attended a SIETAR Congress, but in the end, it was not a mutually satisfactory arrangement“, admits Mee Jin.
At the interface between work and life is the common challenge of bi- or multiculturalism and the necessity for linguistic flexibility. Whether as a „hyphenated-German“ family or a bicultural family living in a third country or choosing to school their children in a third language, intercultural situations crop up frequently in every day life.
Learning from Children
Mee Jin Kim’s children are being raised trilingually: she speaks Korean with the children, who attend a German and English language Montessori kindergarten and practise tae kwan do. She has clear goals: her children should understand as much Korean as possible, learn to pronounce Korean words and develop and maintain an interest in Korea and Korean culture. Mee Jin is surprised at how easily her son accepts cultural differences when visiting Korea, for example, the frequent physical contact with older people. Adults should take a cue from children.
Overcoming the Challenges
Stassie Zaprianova’s Bulgarian-English household has just relocated to Belgium. She expects her life to become „really very interesting in terms of multiculturalism and languages“. One would be hard pressed to find a woman whom motherhood has not changed. As Galina puts it, „I have become more efficient, more polychronic, because I am forced to accomplish more in less time. But my child is still my first priority“. Stassie agrees. „I started to plan more in advance and to follow strictly my schedule, clearly separating family and work time. I think I am also a bit wiser, more understanding and empathetic toward other people’s needs“, she attests. Molly’s experience is slightly different. She would like to be more organized, because though Julian has developed a rhythm, her working style has become chaotic and she has to find „in-between“ time, often running late nights. For Mee Jin Kim, a new challenge will begin once her son begins formal schooling later this year and full day care becomes a thing of the past. „It’s a sore subject for all working mothers,“ laments Mee Jin. „Day care is much easier, since children are catered for until 4:30 p.m.“.
What would be done differently, if possible?
And what would be done differently, if possible? „I’d probably have my child in a country where I would have more child care support,“ Galina says. „And spend more time raising my child before resuming work and having to deal with time management issues“, she continues. Stassie would organize her time even better, leaving more time for her husband. She would also do more to balance her feeling of guilt, for which she compensates with presents for the kids. „I used to buy Yanna a toy every time I was on a trip. I find it wrong now. I need to find another way to ‘cure‘ my guilt“, she reveals.
There is no doubt that the myriad skills that they have acquired through motherhood are brought to bear in their professional dealings. And challenges notwithstanding, not a single one would want it any other way.
Picture Credit: Getty Images.